Remembering life as it goes

So it has been a while since I blogged, but the first semester of law school proved to be very challenging and I am not quite sure the workload is planning to let up anytime soon. I hear that supposedly it gets easier the second year and that we will all look back and wonder how we survived this year. For now, I can only hope that will prove to be true. I am currently reading Donald Miller’s latest book which talks about remembering our lives. So because I am reading this book, I am going to try and document some noteworthy occurences that happen during the day to day life of a 1st year law student. We will see how it goes because when i started thinking about 5 noteworthy things that happened today it proved to be more difficult than i expected.

1. The times when I am reading for law school and really understanding the material are the times when I feel like I am really doing what I need to be doing…as opposed to the times when I ask myself what the heck I am thinking

2. Good friends can make your life feel really full. Whenever I have a void in my life, I feel like a good talk or a good laugh with good friends can fill that void in about 2.5 seconds.

3. I like to listen to music while I am cooking. Currently the Glee soundtrack is my playlist of choice.

4. With second semester law school comes stress and anxiety. Working out seems to be a good coping mechanism.

5. I am addicted to online television. I never have time to watch the shows when they actually come on so I spend way too much time staying up too late watching shows I missed during their regularly scheduled time.

6. I think holding hands can be one of the most romantic gestutres in the world.

Well thats six thoughts for the day. One more than I promised. The stream of consciousness is taking a break and I’m off to Hulu.com

Things I have learned in college

Its late…Its exam week…I can’t sleep…Go figure…here goes nothing:

Things I have learned about myself throughout my college experience:

1. If you try to dye dark brown hair at home, it will most likely end up orange and take approximately 2 years to return to its natural state

2. If you go to the tanning bed for 20 minutes a day, everyday for two weeks, your skin will turn the color of your home dyed orange hair

3. I have a pretty steady relationship with caffeine

4. I clench my jaw subconsciously when I’m tired

5. I have my most profound thoughts late in the night or when I’m working towards a deadline

6. I would rather study for 12 hours while goofing off with friends than for 6 by myself. Misery loves company. Hard work is more fun when surrounded by other people doing hard work.

7. A little public speaking anxiety never hurt anyone, in many cases it can help.

8. Embarassment is overrated. Better to laugh and get a good story out of it.

9. I am rather disorganized when it comes to my bedroom

10. Taking life one day at a time makes it seem more manageable.

11. I love to learn

12. I am a true political moderate

13. I love Washington, DC

14. I love to travel

15. Always save papers intermittently while you are typing them lest you delete the most brilliant thing you have ever written at 6:00 a.m. the day before it is due.

16. Time heals. Forgiveness heals more.

17. Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

18. Learn from those who are older and wiser than you are.

19. But, sometimes you have to learn things the hard way, on your own.

20. Change your major at least one time; its character building.

21. Don’t be afraid of people with different beliefs. Be open to growth and change.

22. Make time for the people who are important to you, you never know when time will run out.

23. Don’t take yourself too seriously, but take yourself seriously enough to do your best at everything you do.

24. I love people. I want to spend my life helping people.

25. My family means more to me than I will ever be able to express.

26. 12 minutes from home can be as far away or as close as you need it to be. Home is still home even when you are in a unfamiliar place with new faces and experiences.

27. Sometimes you can be as proud of a C as you are an A+

28. Its okay to fail. Just make sure you learn from your failure.

29. You can be okay in any situation where you make a conscious choice to be okay.

30. Miles don’t matter in true friendships.

31. Random acts of kindness can change your whole outlook on life.

32. Endorphins make you happy.

33. Its okay not to be engaged when you graduate from college, contrary to popular belief

34. Listening can go along way when people are struggling.

35.  I spend too much time on facebook and aim, guilty pleasure.

36. The work will get done if you want it to. It always does.

37. A good nap can solve a lot of problems.

38. So can a good conversation with an unbiased friend who isn’t afraid to tell you that you are being ridiculous

39. If you leave your emergency flashers on for eight hours, your car battery will definetely die.

40. Crying can be therapeutic

41. Always have access to a spare key.

42. There are often times more than one right answer.

43. If you eat cookies and french fries everyday of your freshman year, you will gain the freshman 15.

44. Find a major you love. Form relationships with the faculty. Allow your education to feed your strengths and improve your weaknesses.

45. Don’t download active x controllers on tv watching websites unless you want your computer to be overtaken by virtual beetles.

46. The things you are most afraid of are often the most worthwhile. 

47. You can probably handle more than you think you can; socially, emotionally, physically and academically

48. Life sucks sometimes.

49. Getting a bread tie stuck in the dishwasher will break the dishwasher.

50. Driving through a car wash with your antenna up may cause it to disappear.

51. Parking down hill when you are low on gas never ends nicely.

52. You can’t switch flights if you have checked your luggage. Taxi rides to airports are extremely expensive.

53. A 6 a.m. aerobics class does not enhance productivity.

54.. You don’t have to know what you want to be when you grow up when you graduate college. I’m still in the process.

and the lasts keep coming

Well its the end of the semester and as is typically habit for me, I find myself lying in bed, evaded by sleep and with words in my head that don’t quite want to write themselves. I have been feeling the need to reflect over the past few weeks, but every time I have had the time to try the words didn’t come to me. I don’t know if this is due to lack of inspiration or due to the fact that reflecting on my college career forces me to acknowledge the fact that my college career is rapidly coming to a close. I need one convocation credit (which I will get tomorrow morning), to write 2 short papers, to take one test, and to pass four exams and then I will have earned the right to walk across the stage in the Pete Hanna Arena at 10:00 a.m. on May 16, 2009.

They say time flies when you are having fun.  Well, my college experience has been filled with fun, good times and bad, success and failure, growth and regression but time has most definetely flown. I vividly remember the summer before I left for Samford. I remember Kate’s goodbye party and saying goodbye to someone who had become one of my closest friends and not knowing what thousands of miles and completely different lifestyles would do for our friendship. I remember spending a week at the beach with Alexis and the deepening of a friendship that is still so close to my heart today. I remember helping move James into his dorm in Tuscaloosa and crying the whole way back to Birmingham. I remember beach trips. six flags excursions, long days by the pool, laser tag tournaments and sitting around killing time with friends, none of us knowing where exactly the next four years of our life would lead.

I moved into Samford on a hot August afternoon and was filled with nervous anticipation. I have never been one to accept change easily and the thought of starting in a new place without the comforts of home and high school terrified me. I remember each of these experiences as if they happened yesterday and it is with a sense of nostalgia that I approach my upcoming graduation from Samford University.

I take comfort in knowing that true friends stick around. Miles, changes, growth and chaos aren’t enough to separate you from the friends who hold a part of your heart. My high school friends are still around and I know my college friends will be as well. I also find peace in knowing that life usually unravels as it should. College has taught me to be open to whatever road may show  up along my path. I started Samford a Journalism major. I finish a Communication Studies major and a Philosophy Minor and I am not neglecting to acknowledge the stints I had in Public Relations, Sports Medicine and Dentistry along my way. I graduate knowing I chose a major that accentuated my strengths and strengthend my weaknesses. I found myself in what I enjoy.

During my time at Samford, I have seen myself grow and struggle. I am no longer the timid, shy freshman I was. College has been hard. I have had positive experiences where I experienced true joy and happiness, but there have also been dark days when it took everything I had in me to get out of bed. Enjoy the happy times. Embrace life when it is good. Keep going when life is hard. Make yourself get out of bed. When something bad happens, give yourself three days to mull over it, and then move on to the best of your ability. Time always heals. Don’t ever stop living your life. I learned lessons I wanted to learn and had lessons forced upon me that I probably at the time would have chosen not to learn, but I am better for each of them.

I experienced the loss of a friend, a true friend. I still struggle with Katie’s death, but I am so thankful for the time we spent as friends and the memories I have. You can find true joy in remembering. I think of Katie and the car rides, football games, door decorating, sorority parties and time spent together and smile. I think of her often and miss of her more, but I continue to live my life, just as I know she would have wanted me to. Death is never an easy thing to accept. Death is never easy to deal with, but we must go on. Through our lives we can honor the life of the one we lost. Life is temporary. Love with all your soul. Live with all of your heart. Make the most of every moment, you never know when your time will run out.

I’m leaving college with no regrets. I feel as if I have made the most of my college experience. I spent three and a half wonderful years at Samford and an amazing semester in Washington DC.  The hard times and the easy ones have made me stronger. I have learned how to think for myself. I know what I believe and I know why I believe it. I appreciate different opinions. I love to learn. So many people have invested in my life during my undergrad career and I can’t even begin to describe the impact friends, mentors, professors and my family have had on my life. The people who have poured into me, cared about me, loved me when I didn’t love myself, called me out and pushed me harder  are the ones who helped me become who I am today, and I will forever be indebted to each of them.

I find myself walking around with a perpetual lump in my throat these days. For a while I thought it was because I was sad my time at Samford was coming to an end, which I am. Samford has been good to me and I really am sad to see this phase of my life come to a close. However, I think more than the lump comes from me being sad, it comes from me being thankful of all the blessings and joy I have had during these past four years. Before I started Samford, I could never have imagined the happiness and satisfaction I would find in life during my college experience.  I graduate knowing the relationships I have formed during these last 4 years will last, and I think rather the lump comes from being glad it happened, thankful it happened and anticipating that it will happen again as I start law school in the fall and see where my future takes me from there.

An End and A Beginning

Since the summer following my senior year in high school, I have blogged on Xanga pretty consistently. However, seeing as how I am about to graduate college and enter a new phase in my life, I decided it was time to move past Xanga and get a “big girl” blog.  Writing has always been an outlet for me and allows me to collect my thoughts, so I figured I would give this a shot.

I have never been a person who particularly enjoys change. Hence with the end of college rapidly approaching (30 days), I find myself often thinking what my college experience has meant to me and what it will mean when its all over and I take the next step in my journey. I think its funny how we conjure up plans in our head and look into the “crystal ball” in order to contemplate what our lives will look like however many years down the road. When I graduated high school, I had a clear and distinct picture in my head of what my college experience would look like and where I could go at the conclusion of that experience. Ironically enough, that picture is nothing like what my life actually looks like today.

I chose to attend Samford University because I felt like it was where I was supposed to be. I declared Journalism and Mass Communication as my major because I enjoyed writing.  I intended for my college experience to be filled with memorable experiences and wonderful new friends, and like many girls do I hoped to be engaged before I graduated. I think I was looking for the cookie cutter college experience.

Well, I have had many memorable experiences and made some wonderful friends, but the rest of my picture perfect college experience changed quite a bit. I am graduating with a degree in Communication Studies and a minor in Philosophy. I am not engaged, nor do I have any desire to be at this point in my life. I am attending Cumberland School of Law at Samford in the fall which is another thing I said I would never do. I didn’t spend my entire four years at Samford. I spent a semester in Washington DC and made friends and had experiences that changed my life and who I am today. I have made wonderful friends at Samford, but also realized the importance of maintaining the friendships I had in high school. The beauty in real friendship lies in the ability to go for extended periods of time without being together but knowing your friends, wherever they are and whatever they are doing, are there for you. College hasn’t been easy. There have been happy times and sad ones, but I am thankful for both because each has taught me lessons about life.

So as it stands now, I am approaching graduation with a sense of nostalgia . I am sad this time of my life is about to end, but I am excited to see the doors law school may open and confident the relationships I have formed are ones that will last. As Nelson Mandela once said, “education is the most powerful weapon with which you can change the world.”